nasaan si jerick

2007-10-28T06:33:00.000-07:00

pagkatapos ng dilim.......may liwanag...

You do not study Political Science by choice. You have to be made of something tough just to survive in it. Jerick is one of the privileged few who enjoy the distinction of depth and intelligence attributable to the study of Political Science. He fears no restrictions in the articulation of his ideas where it is due. Sporadic outbursts are observable but such are moments of awe as passion envelops every word that comes out of his mouth. Do not be deceived though. Behind that stalwart facade resides a man whose enthusiasm curbs to a bow the likes of Steve Irwin and Dora the Explorer. His appetite for gratification (be it intellectual, emotional, culinary, sexual, etc.) is the driving force behind our Harry Potter in his quest for victory against the "Lord Voldemorts of UP Manila. Matapang, Matalino, Walang takot kahit kanino, kahit kay Sioco- yan si Jerick.

ang mga ito, ang larawan at ang lathalain ay pawang walang pahintulot na kinuha mula kay migol.

2007-08-27T02:12:00.000-07:00

sinisilo natin ang mga tala at iginuguhit ang ating mga pangarap

Sa aking pag-iisa, nang hindi ako makatulog noong isang malamig na Sabado ng gabi, naisip kita:

Jek
Waring naaalala mo lamang ang lahat nang minsang nabanggit mong sabay tayong naglalakad pauwi galing sa paaralan noong nasa ikalawang baitang tayo. Ngunit hindi mo naman pala alam na noong kamag-aral kita noon, napahiya ako nang sabay tayong aawit ng Lupang Hinirang, at nagsimula ka sa “Land of the morning.” Hanggang sa matapos natin ang mataas na paaralan, tumatak na sa akin ang iyong kadaldalan.

Lumalabas na pinakamalaki kong kasalanan sa iyo ang pilitin kang kumuha ng UPCAT, na tinawag mo lamang namang puno’t dulo ng lahat ng kasalukuyan mong paghihirap. Hindi maabot ng pang-unawa kung paano mo nasabi ito; dahil sa yabang mong iyan, may hindi ka ga naman kakayanin? Kung sa bagay, kahit naiinggit ako dahil nakakatugtog ka sa piano nang walang piyesa, hindi mo naman minsan mabasa ang sarili mong sulat-kamay.

Sa dami na ng ating napagpulungan, hindi pa rin nauubos ang aking tanong: Paano mo gagawin ang sinabi mong “mamamalakaya ako upang makabihag ng tulog para ipasalubong?” Hindi ka ga nainis noong isang gabi, na habang nagbabasa ka ng hindi kagandahang libro ay pinulong kita at umabot tayo sa pagsilip ng araw?

Jam
Nagpapanggap kang kaklase namin noong mababang paaralan; ang totoo, noong unang taon sa mataas na paaralan lamang kita nakilala. Naging “computer lizard” ka o tagadisenyo ng pahina ng pahayagang pang-mag-aaral na sinalihan ko rin. Ilang karibok ng tuktok din ang nilabanan natin at napagwagian.

Noon, nararamdaman kong nababanas ka na sa mga usapan sa bahay, dahil mas gamay mo ang mga piattos (chemical bonds). Napakamadasalin din ng iyong pamilya, kaya nagulat ka siguro nang maging tampulan ng biro ang parating/nagdaan mong ika-21 kaarawan, na tatlo lamang naman ang Mahal na Poon sa bahay ninyo, galing pa sa magkakaibang parokya. Nakakatuwa, nakakalungkot, na marami nang nagbago sa iyo, na pawang hindi ko maisasaysay dahil baka makarating sa mga hindi dapat makaalam, sa pagdaan sa mga kakilala ng kakilala.

Kung hindi ka bagong gising, kausapin mo na kaya ako? Naisip mo na ga ang ultimate ganda story mo na tatalo sa lahat ng iba pa? Kung matuto na akong magplantsa ng puting uniporme, makakapag-asawa na ako? Kapag tinanong ka ng nanay mo kung bakit pink ang iyong bag, ano kaya ang sasabihin mo? Keribels?

Joy
Hanggang magkasama na tayo mula noong isang taon, nababahala akong hindi mo masakyan ang pagkabata ko, namin, dahil mas matanda ka… ng isang taon. Ngunit sa ngayon, sabi nga, itinatanong pa ga iyon? Umuwi ka nga minsan nang may dalang laruang kotse na may remote control.

Nagkakahalubilo lamang tayo noong nasa sekundarya pa ako kapag may mga pulong ang mga katekista, o ang science o English club. (Hanggang ngayon pala, hindi ko pa alam ang reaksyon mo nang biglang sumingit ang partido namin sa inyong kampanya para sa konseho ng mag-aaral.) Tapos hindi man tayo nag-usap, naging magkamag-aaral tayo sa SocSci 2, at doon ko muling nakita ang walang-kupas at mala-font mong sulat-kamay. Pagkakalabas mo ngayon sa trabahong “nakakainip,” lilipad ka para tumulong sa isang samahang nagtataguyod sa karapatan ng mga kababaihan.

Nitong huling mga araw, hindi na kita gaanong nakakasamang kumain sa kung saan-saan. Kaya naman naiipon ang mga ito: Sino ang mas mahal mo, ang mga nagpapatulog o hindi nagpapatulog sa iyo? Saan mo nakita ang four seasons na juice? Bakit ka matuwain sa mga bata?

Tayo
Iba ang ikot ng araw sa ilalim ng ating bubungan dahil nagagawa nating pagulungin ang panahon ayon sa ating kapasyahan. Hindi natin miminsan nasabing natatangi ang ating bahay-bahayan.

Sa ating mga paliwanagan, nagiging pisara ang mga dingding. Inaagaw natin ang bawat eksena sa mga teleserye, sa pagbaybay natin sa kanilang kapintasan. Malaya nating napag-uusapan anumang bagay sa kalawakan, mula sa mga bata at nagbabata-bataan nating mga kapatid, hanggang sa mga prinsipyong pinipilit nating panindigan.

At sa gitna ng ating mga hagalpakan at pulong na walang kasaysayan, sinisilo natin ang mga tala at iginuguhit ang ating mga pangarap.

Ayaw kong isipin kung kailan ninyo ako iiwan, o kung mangyayaring iiwan ko kayo. Sa isang bagay lamang ako nakatitiyak sa ngayon: sabi ko nga sa iyo, Jek, hindi lamang ikaw ang mababa ang mga luha.
-lala

2007-08-10T20:27:00.000-07:00

tang ina...dahil sa trabaho napilitan akong magbagong anyo...balik sa pagiging tao...

masaya ba?

hindi...

kelan pa naging masaya ang maging isang clone?

kahapon?, kanina? o baka bukas?

may kaluluwa ba ang isang clone?

o may kabilang buhay ba?

sabi nga nila kung hindi ka na masaya sa buhay na ito,

bakit hindi subukan ang kabilang buhay?

2007-07-16T20:57:00.000-07:00

alam ko huli na masyado ang pasasalamat na ito..wala kayong magagawa, ngayon lang nagkaroon ng oras...narito ang aking pasasalamat ayon sa pagkakasunod sunod ng mga pagbati sa akin para sa aking kaarawan...
nea, salamat sa pag aabala na i coerce ang mga tao na batiin ako..
sa inyong lahat ng nakaalala, maraming salamat...

Jul 14
saquilayan family
k.separa
migz del gallego
brian ballesteros
karen
harvey at migol

Jul 15
paolo catolico
nea reyes
sheena trongco
alex dimasacat
mia tolosa
jay medrano
kjoy arguelles
benj
kristel esteban
kats aguas
janin mendoza
erl lagunilla
carina
meme
kuya lhet
ja hernandez
nick roberto
rudnie manalo
bianca
mhare junasa
deo dave mangulabnan
febbie flores
melane manalo
troy ilagan
joemel maranan
marbi bien
justin agraviador
ma. gay macasaet
ian perez
sheila duana
rod bisarez

Jul 16...(mga humabol)
tsidatah castillo
happy
elbeth endaya

muli, maraming salamat...

2007-06-30T04:10:00.000-07:00

since nabanggit ko na rin na nais kong maglakbay sa kung saang saang lugar, naisipan kong halukayin ang aking baul ng kayamanan upang maghanap ng mga larawan...narito ang ilan sa kanila...kuha ang mga larawan ito sa ilocos norte/sur, mahigit isang taon na ang nakalipas...pasenxa, hindi pa ako nagbblogger nun...sa friendster pa...

vigan

vigan pa din
ang unang pamilya sa malacanang of the north
mom's courtyard

2007-06-25T02:34:00.000-07:00

trip to baguio

haunted house daw...
sa harapan ng haunted house
camp john hay
foggy day

matagal ko nang pangarap ang makarating sa Baguio, at sa wakas, natupad na ito. oo, natupad na. nagsimula ang aming paglalakbay, biyernes, ika-22 ng Hunyo, kasama si nealyn, ang kuya nyang si redentor, ang kanyang addy at pamangkin na si aller. maigsi lamang ang aking pananatili sa baguio. hindi kami tumagal ng 24 na oras. pero ayos lang..libre naman..haha..salamat pala sa mga sponsors.

akala ko bibiguin na ko ng baguio nang magdadapit hapon na at hindi ko man lang naranasan ang maulap na kapaligiran, siguro naawa na lang talaga sa akin ang mga lamang lupa kaya naman ako ay kanila nang pinagbigyan.

pinuntahan ko/ namin ang mga lugar na madalas puntahan ng mga taong nagtutungo sa baguio...ilan sa mga ito ay ang mines view , burnham, the mansion, atbp...lubos ang aking kaligayhan ng bagtasin ko ang session road...medyo polluted na pero ok pa din..yun nga lang may sensasyon na tila nasa isang kang koreanovela dahil sa dami ng koreano/a na nasa paligid ng baguio. isa pa sa aking napuna ang sensasyong isang artipisyal na mundo ang baguio, tila isang museo na tinutungo ng tao upang magliwaliw, magbakasyon, mag-isip....magpahinga, kung ano man ang dahilan ng iba, bahala na sila..basta..mahirap ipaliwanag ang galak na dulot sa aking ng aking maiksing pananatili sa lungsod na ito.

hindi kalamigan sa lungsod kaya hindi ko nasuot masyado ang aking dalang pangginaw. sabi ng mga manong taxi driver, mga buwan ng nobyembre hanggang pebrero daw dapat pumunta doon upang maranasan ang lamig ng baguio. kaya naman babalik ako..baguio, maghintay ka lang...darating ako

2007-06-06T04:22:00.000-07:00

it feels like home....
by Chantal Kreviazuk

Somethin' in your eyes, makes me wanna lose myself
Makes me wanna lose myself, in your arms
There's somethin' in your voice, makes my heart beat fast
Hope this feeling lasts, the rest of my life
If you knew how lonely my life has been
And how long I've been so alone
And if you knew how I wanted someone to come along
And change my life the way you've done
It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I come from
It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong
A window breaks, down a long, dark street
And a siren wails in the night
But I'm alright, 'cause I have you here with me
And I can almost see, through the dark there is light
Well, if you knew how much this moment means to me
And how long I've waited for your touch
And if you knew how happy you are making me
I never thought that I'd love anyone so much It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way the back where I come from
It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong
It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong

2007-05-29T04:06:00.000-07:00

isang paglilinaw...
oo malaki ang galit ko sa mundo at tama si nea,maxado na akong matanda para sa ganoong uri ng sentimyento...

ika-26 ng mayo nang likhain ko ang mensaheng ito..."haay...mahal ko na mga *** pipol...walang kaarte arte, ok kasama at hind borbor...buti na lang may mga ganun..."

siguro nga hindi ko maxado inisip ang magiging implikasyon ng maikling mensaheng iyon na pinakalat ko sa pamamagitan ng txt msg... wala sa aking intensyon ang siraan at maliitin ang ibang tao lalo na ang mga taga ***. ang totoo, sa pamamagitan sana ng mensaheng iyon, ninais kong itama ang aking pagkakamali...totoo din naman na madalas akong manghamak at mang uyam ng mga taong,sabihin na natin na hindi kapareho ng eskwelahang aking pinapasukan, at hindi lang yun, pati ang mga taong sa tingin ko ay kaya ko..."kaya" o cge sabihin na natin na mas "may alam ako"...tanggap ko ang kayabangan na iyon...at dahil dun, humihingi ako ng paumanhin..

"lahat tayo may kanya-kanyang pelikula sa ating utak na tayo ang bida."
--peque gallaga, pinoy blonde

cguro maxado lang talaga ang pagpapahalaga ko sa bida sa aking likhang pelikula na patuloy na namamahay sa aking isipan. marahil ito rin ang dahilan kaya't nalilimutan ko nang may iba pang tauhan. mga tauhan na kapag nawala ng tuluyan ay maaaring magdulot ng paghinto ng aking pelikula...ng aking likhang pelikula...

mabalik tayo sa mensaheng aking ipinadala ng sa pamamagitan ng txt msg...kasalukuyan akong nagttraining sa isang kolsenter... isang lugar na lantaran kong iniiwasan...alam yan ng aking mga kaibigan...aaminin ko, lumaki ang ulo ko lalo na noong nakapagtapos na ako ng kolehiyo at talagang isinumpa kong hindi ako tutungtong sa kolsenter upang magtrabaho...sa aking palagay, hindi angkop ang ganitong trabaho sa isang taong nakapagtapos ng apat na taon sa kolehiyo...naranasan ko na ang magtrabaho sa kolsenter, totoo malaki ang kita, ngunit hindi ito sapat upang punan ang kapagalan ng katawan at isipang dulot ng pakikipag usap sa mga nagdudunong dunungang kustomer...dito ko nakilala ang mga taong lalo kong hinangaan...pinatunayan nilang mali ang aking akala sa mga katuld nila...noong una, akala ko pareho kami ng taong ito, ito naman ay dahil sa pareho kaming pinag aaral ng mga tao sa pamamagitan ng kanilang buwis...sa aspetong ito, marahil pareho nga kami, pero may nakita ako sa kanila na naisip ko sana meron din ako...ang kababaan ng kanilang loob...sana mabahaginan nila ako nun....

saludo ako sa mga taong nagagawang magtagal sa mga kolsenter...at kasama nito, ay ang aking panghihinayang lalo na kapag naririnig ko ang mga kwento nila tulad ng kanilang mga natapos na kurso sa kolehiyo...hindi ba't nakakapanlumong madinig na ang mga taong may digri sa marketing, nursing at engineering ay pinagsisiksikan ang kanilang mga sarili sa mga putang inang kolsenter? at pare pareho lang ang dahilan nila kung bakit kolsenter ang pinipili nilang hanapbuhay...dahil hindi sapat ang kinikita/kikitain nila kung sakaling papraktisin nila ang kanilang tinapos...nakakarelate ako...kayat lalo nang lumaki ang galit ko sa mundo...idagdag pa natin ang umuusbong na mga "pseudo elite" at "pseudo-intellectuals" sa isang kapaligirang tulad ng isang kolsenter...hindi ang kabihasahan sa paggamit ng isang wikang hiram ang sukatan ng kakayahan...oo nakakbilib naman talaga na maging bihasa sa isang bagay na hindi likas sa isang kultura... dito ako bilib sa mga Pilipino, madaling makibagay, sana hindi naman madaling makalimot...

...itutuloy...

2007-05-10T21:43:00.000-07:00

My Personal Feedback
(maniwala kayo o hindi, pero 'yan yung sabi dun sa isang test na kinuha ko para sa isang kumpanya)

Your personal feedback, as follows, provides an overview of your personality characteristics and interests:

Jerick, please keep in mind that the following report on you as a total person is based on all the information taken from your careerXact assessment. This report is intended to help you understand more about yourself and your career options. Although based on objective, detailed assessments, no single report can sum up your full, distinctive character. The goal here is to provide you with valuable and unique insight into yourself and the careers that best suit your motivations, interests, and personality traits.Starting with motivations, your assessment scores show that you are well inclined to work with people and things, but what you like best of all is working with data. The kind of tasks that will appeal to you the most will involve data analysis, symbols, information management __ anything that provides information in some measurable way. Your powerful enthusiasm for data, combined with your above-average interest in people and tools, means that you are likely to do well in any information technology. Hands-on use of the Internet, communications, detailed paperwork, and computer-generated reports would all draw on your combined interests. Summing up your overall mindset, you have great potential for social or academic activities and you are positively motivated to use physical tools, manual equipment, and machinery. This is a winning mix for a wide range of opportunities.

Regarding your personality and how that fits with the opportunities you might consider, you probably already know that you are reasonably obliging yet you do not hold back from competition, but that is just the beginning. Jerick, your scores show that you are equally ready to be either a team member or a team leader __ as long as you still get individual recognition. Although you are adaptable and willing to play whatever "role gets the goal," you function better if your personal contribution is recognized. This doesn't mean that you will thrust yourself into the limelight at the expense of others. In fact, you prefer to avoid conflict and aggression. This shows in your leadership style, too. If you are called upon to resolve a dispute, you will rely more on persuasion than force. You can be outspoken and will promote your own ideas, but you prefer to encourage rather than compel.

So how do you deal with both the sudden impact of a crisis and the humdrum of daily routine? Your personality traits are right on target for the fast pace of contemporary work: your assessment results show that you are both innovative and sufficiently organized. You react well to unexpected demands and you are happy to find new ways to solve problems, yet you can also follow a set routine. You can work within established guidelines as long as they permit some interpretation. That is, you might be able to work with military precision but you still need a little artistic licence. Your workspace, for example, may appear somewhat cluttered and disordered but you know where everything is. You have to have some leeway to think for yourself. If the rules and regulations don't let you react in your own way, you would have to gut it out to keep up to your usual level of accomplishment.

This on-your-toes attitude also shows in your approach to planning. You likely have an overall strategy for dealing with problems but you prefer to fill in the details as situations develop. There is a streak of daring in your approach to work so that doing a job "on the fly" is no problem for you. In the main, you are more concerned with getting the job done than how you do it. The gist of the careerXact appraisal of your character is that you are flexible and orderly. You can make plans and work in a controlled manner, but you are not upset if you have to abandon those plans to cope with unexpected events. You are stimulated by new developments and a changing work environment.

You know how you react to most workplace issues, but what is the best environment for you to do your best work? You don't need to work with others face-to-face all the time and you can cope with some isolation, but you will achieve your highest productivity with a small group in a lively setting. Because you are friendly and outgoing, Jerick, you could also commit to a large group in a noisy, chaotic environment but not for a prolonged period. Being companionable, you will contribute readily to conversation and informal discussion, but you still need time alone to reflect on your efforts and plan your work.

In general, you are open to new acquaintances and fresh views, but you examine both new people and new ideas carefully before accepting them. In a group situation, you will participate well because you have the ability to present your ideas with enthusiasm, while at the same time listening for feedback and casual debate. However, you will not hog the spotlight because you are not driven to be the center of everyone's attention. You tend to be self-reliant and, while you require change and new input, you are able to tolerate some monotony. Consequently, ideal work for you should require frequent interaction with small groups, the support of established procedures as well as development of new protocols, and variable contact with newcomers. Extended periods of isolation or total immersion in-group projects would be equally frustrating for you. Long-term assignments must include challenge and opportunity for growth.

Finally, work often creates stress and how you deal with stress is crucial not only for job achievement but also for job satisfaction. The best job in the world is no good to you if it makes you sick with anxiety. You will be glad to know that your personality profile reveals that Jerick Medrano customarily copes well with pressure and, while you can be pressed into "losing your cool," you regain your composure remarkably well. You tend to avoid stress and this is a good thing because high pressure for a long period will disturb you. If you must manage a heavy workload in tiresome conditions with unreasonable deadlines, you are not likely to break down but you will need to exert yourself to maintain your focus. When truly stressed, you may not want to trust others and you could find yourself becoming more sensitive to criticism. Because of these attitudes, you may be less objective and rational if involved in a personal dispute. On the whole, however, you will always give your best effort no matter what the circumstances. -->

2007-05-04T01:14:00.000-07:00

joke,joke,joke

isang malaking joke ang teleperformance...mrahil ay bitter lang talaga ko kaya ko nasabi/nasulat ito...
gumising ako ng napakaaga para lang kumuha ng eksamin sa teleperformance, ikawalo ng umaga sa edsa central. i took the exam at around 9am. hindi ito maganda lalo na at mayayabang pang mga aplikante ang katabi mong naghihintay.inglesan ng inglesan sa paraang hindi ko masikmura...ewan ko siguro nga ako na ang may problema kasi tama lang naman na mag iningles ang mga tao dahil un ang tama, at least sa lugar na kinalalagyan ko ng mga oras na iyon.

mabalik tayo sa exam. ok lang ung 2 naunang part pero yung 3 exam na sumunod tungkol sa planning, dun ako medyo nahilo. buti na lang kahit paano napasa ko...yehey...yehey na nga ba?

muli kaming tinawag para sa isa pang pagsusulit. aaminin ko, hindi ko inasahan ang sunod na pagsusulit..putang ina! tungkol sa Excel lang naman...oo ms excel at alam ko lang ng mga oras na iyon na eto na ang katapusan ng aking karera..ay iyon nga...bagsak daw sabi nung isang tauhan nila... sobrang nakakababa lang ng self esteem...natanong ko tuloy ang sarili ko, ganun ba ako katanga para hindi ipasa ang exam tungkol sa ms excel.. tang ina spss na lang dapat....ang punto ko naman e madali nang pag aralan at gamitin ang excel kapag kaharap ko na ang pc...ano gusto nila? imemorize ko ung mga toolbar dun? naman...

2007-05-01T23:32:00.000-07:00

"How To Save A Life"

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came
Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

2007-04-28T07:04:00.000-07:00

kagebunshin teknik
your honor
hari ng sablay

2007-04-28T01:48:00.000-07:00

isang gabi habang ang karamihan ay kasalukuyang nasa kalaliman ng kanilang pagtulog, may mga nilalang na nilalasap ang samahan ng mga pagal na kaluluwa...

wala lang, nilalaro lang namin ang bagong fone ni mashi

(Starbucks' Malate, April 26/27, 2007

2007-04-11T07:42:00.000-07:00

narito at ating pagnilayan ang isang aral.kinuha mula sa blog ni neah na kinuha mula sa blog ni bianca...

words of wisdom from Ryan and Joaqui

ang north boy, kung gusto ka, liligawan ka.
ang south boy, hindi mo alam, nililigawan ka na pala.

ang north boy, crush siya ng barkada mo.
ang south boy, gustong makatambay ng barkada mo.

ang north boy, liligawan pati nanay mo.
ang south boy, babarkadahin ang nanay mo.

ang north boy, tahimik at polite kapag kasama ang pamilya mo.
ang south boy, makwento at masigla kapag kasama ang pamilya mo.

ang north boy, first date ninyo sa nakaka-impress na restaurant.
ang south boy, first date ninyo ay movie tapos coffee.

ang north boy, bongga magregalo.
ang south boy, simple pero meaningful ang ireregalo.

source:neahreyes.blogspot.com

2007-04-08T06:28:00.000-07:00

oo..isa nga akong self centered na tao...

iyan ang aking napagtanto habang nilalasap ko ang hindi kagandandahang karanasan ng kawalang ginagawa. ngunit hindi ko mag isang napag isipan ang bagay na iyan. sinabi yan sa aking ng isang kaibigan isang gabing lasing ang mga tao at hinihintay na dalawin ng antok. doon ko din nalaman ang ilang katotohanang itinago sa akin. masakit lalo na pag naiisip ko na nagmukha akong tanga. pero ganun ata talaga. iba iba ang tao at ang kanyang paraan ng pagharap sa katotohanan ng buhay.

inaamin ko na din na maingay akong tao. pero ganun talaga ako. lahat sinasabi, maganda, masama, mura, lahat, walang nakakaligtas. at dahil nga dun hindi ko napansin na may mga tao na palang hindi nasisiyahan sa aking ganitong gawi. kumbaga, alam ko naman na nakakasakit talaga ako pero hindi ko lang siguro inasahan ang ganung reaksyon mula sa ilang tao. syempre, kababawan ang kadaldalan bilang pangunahing dahilan. dito na papasok ang aking pagiging self centered na sinasalamin ng aking kadaldalan. hindi ako nagpapatalo lalo na kung "asaran mode" lang naman ang drama. siguro, isang kamalian ko din ang madalas na pauyam kong turing sa lahat ng bagay. marahil, bunga ito ng aking takot na maglabas ng emosyon. pero ang totoo, hindi din ako masyadong aware sa bagya na to. akala ko kasi, kasama na sa aking kadaldalan ang paglalabas ng nararapat na emosyon. mali pala ako.

pero tulad nga ng madalas kong sinasabi lalo na sa mga panahong nagsasalita ako, handa naman akong tumanggap kritisismo at kung ano ano pa ukol sa aking mga maling ginagawa at sinasabi. siguro nga hindi lahat ng tao ay katulad ko at hindi naman magiging maganda ang mundo kung lahat ay tulad ko. ang sa akin lang naman, sa aspetong yun, lalo na at ako at ang aking pagkatao na ang nakasalalay, mas nananaisin ko pa sigrong harap harapan akong balahurain. dahil sa mas nanaisin ko pang lasapin ang pait ng kamatayan kung ito ay darating ng harapan kaysa dumating ito sa akin ng hindi ko nalalaman.

p.s.
may nabasa ako dating isang mensahe sa text. tungkol ito sa turingan ng magkakaibigan...sabi dito, ang tunay at totoong kaibigan daw ay iyong hindi ka tinatawag sa totoo mong pangalan. kumbaga laging may imbentong pangalan para lang sa iyo. dagdag pa dito, ang tunay at totoong kaibigan daw ay iyong sasabihin ang lahat ng masama sa iyo ng harapan [at babatukan ka pa kung kailangan.]

sa mga maaaring masaktan sa post na ito, pakiusap, mangyaring ito ay inyong ipaalam. lubos akong maliligayahan dahil nakatagpo na naman ako ng kaibigan....

2007-04-07T05:59:00.000-07:00

Road Not Taken

Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that, the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

two roads diverged in a wood, and I --

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

2007-04-07T04:30:00.000-07:00

dahil walang pera, at hindi naman ako kalakihan, thus, i reckon that the word cute still applies to me, pinatulan ko na ang kiddie pool. full suport naman si pepay at binigyan nya pa ko ng brazo de mercedes...ibang klase 'to..mas masarap to kesa sa nabibili sa goldilocks.un sa goldilocks kasi e asukal na nagpapanggap na braso de mercedes....kasama ko pala un pamangkin ko at un bro-in-law ko na mas mukhang kapatid ko kesa dun sa ate ko...hahahaha....sarap...

2007-04-05T06:04:00.000-07:00

SEMI-CHARMED LIFE
I'm packed and I'm holding,I'm smiling, she's living, she's golden andshe lives for me, She says she lives for me,Ovation, She's got her own motivation, she comes round and she goes down on me, And I make her smile, It's like a drug for you, Do ever what you want to do, Coming over you,Keep on smiling, what we go through. One stop to the rhythm that divides you, And I speak to you like the chorus to the verse, Chop another line like a coda with a curse, And I come on like a freak show takes the stage. We give them the games we play, she said, I want something else, to get me through this,Semi-charmed kind of life, I want something else, I'm not listening when you say, Good-bye. The sky it was gold, it was rose, I was taking sips of it through my nose, And I wish I could get back there, Some place back there, Smiling in the pictures you would take, Doing crystal myth, Will lift you up until you break, It won't stop, I won't come down, I keep stock, With a tick tock rhythm and a bump for the drop, And then I bumped up. I took the hit I was given, Then I bumped again, And then I bumped again.How do I get back there to, The place where I fell asleep inside you? How do I get myself back to, The place where you said, I want something else to get me through this, semi-charmed kind of life, I want something else, I'm not listening when you say, good-bye, I believe in the sand beneath my toes, The beach gives a feeling, An earthy feeling, I believe in the faith that grows, And the four right chords can make me cry, When I'm with you I feel like I could die. And that would be all right, All right, When the plane came in, She said she was crashing, The velvet it rips, In the city we tripped, On the urge to feel alive, But now I'm struggling to survive, The days you were wearing, That velvet dress,You're the priestess, must confess, Those little red panties, They pass the test, Slide up around the belly, Face down on the mattress, One, Now you hold me, And we're broken. Still it's all that I want to do. Feel myself with a head made of the ground, I'm scared but I'm not coming down. And I won't run for my life, She's got her jaws just locked now in smile but nothing is all right, All right, I want something else, To get me through this, Semi-charmed kind of life, I want something else, I'm not listening when you say, good-bye.

2007-04-05T05:20:00.000-07:00

after a month, finally nakauwi din ako sa batangas. ang totoo maraming time na umuwi after my thesis but i chose to stay and think, think and think---isa sa pinakaayaw kong gawin. isang kakatwang taktika upang maiwasan ko ang mag isip, nagiging madaldal ako. madaldal lang talaga yung tipong tuloy tuloy..minsan kasi nabanggit sa akin ng aking housemate na kapag ganun daw, ibig sabihin, hindi kailangan mag isip unless kasinungalingan lang ang lahat ng lumalabas sa bibig. naisip ko na totoo naman yun. dahil mahirap naman talaga ang magsinungaling. pero minsan, dahil nga mahirap syang gawin, iba ang pakiramdam kapag nagtagumpay ka sa pagsisinungaling.
enough of "pagsisinungaling"

nung byahe ko kanina, medyo madami nang pinagbago sa landas na aking tinahak patungo sa aming tahanan. madaming poste at puno din ang nabababoy dahil sa mga mukha ng pulitikong garapalan na talaga sa pangangampanya. nangibabaw sa kanila ang nakaka bugnot na pagmumukha ni chavit singson..hindi ko alam, pero talagang nababanas lang talaga ako sa pagmumukha nya lalo na kung magsasalita pa xa.

napag-alaman ko din na lumipat na pala talaga yung paradahan ng tryk punta sa amin. akala ko kasi dati ay pansamantala lang yun. medyo may progress na din ang ginagawang flyover dun sa my diversion road. patungo iyon sa batangas port. sobrang maalikabok.sana matapos na.

2007-03-26T01:07:00.000-07:00

si pgma daw ang isa, kung hindi man ang pinakamahusay na recruiter ng NPA at iba pang makakaliwang grupo.....yun na lang ang nasagot ko sa huling katanungan sa aming pagususulit. minsan nga naiisip ko kung bakit ba ako nandito sa lugar na ganito, tama ba na nakapasok ako sa ganitong uri ng paaralan? kung saan mataaas ang inaasahan ng mga tao mula sa iyo?

kung papalarin, maaaring mapabilang ako sa mga mag aaral na magtatapos sa semestreng ito. masaya ba dapat ako? hindi ko din alam. may bahagi ng aking pagkatao na hindi masaya dahil maraming pagbabago ang magaganap. malaking bahagi din ng aking buhay ang aking ginugol sa pamamalagi sa lugar na itinuring ko nang tahanan. ang totoo, minsan mas nalulungkot pa ako kapag naiisip kong sa konting panahon na lamang ay lilisanin ko na ang lugar na iyon. mahirap, ngunit talagang masakit tanggapin ang katotohanan... lahat ay may hangganan.

nais ko sanang ibalik ang oras kung kailan nasa unang taon pa lamang ako sa paaralang ngayo'y nagbabadyang ko nang lisanin. ito'y sa kabila ng katotohanang sa mahabang panahon ay nabalot ako ng takot dulot ng bagong mundong aking ginagalawan. malayo sa pamilya at madalas nag-iisa. ngunit hindi ko naman pinagsisihan ang mga bagay na yun dahil lahat ng naranasan ko noon ay bahagi na lamang ng aking nakaraan gayundin ng aking kasalukuyan. kumbaga, sila ang dahilan kung ano man ako ngayon.

***to be continued

2007-03-13T03:38:00.000-07:00

camapign period once again. (sigh) dagsa na naman ang maingay at nakakasukang jingles at political ad ng mga pulitiko. sa tingin ko tuloy mukhang kahapon lang sila ipinangangak upang magsilabasan sa mga ganung uri ng ad.nakakasuka..oo tunay na nakakasuka.
idagdag pa dito ang karagdagang kalat sa mga pader at lansangan ng mga mukhang unggoy na politicians. magaling lang naman sila sa ganitong mga panahon.lumalabas lang sa mga lungga nila at nagpapakita sa taong bayan dahil may kailangan sila.anyway, enough of my angst with politicians, at least pagtuunan ko na lang ngpansin ung mga magastos at walang point na political ads nila

first on my list is Pichay and his spiels like "itanim sa Senado" and "pangarap kong tuparin ang pangarap nyo." in the first place you wont even pass as a vegetable to be sold in the market and if it happens that u really are a vegetable, you are rotten.! second, regarding his "pangarap" thing ... ang sagot dun ang awiting hindi ko alam yung title but it goes like this..."pangarap ka na lang ba, o magiging katotohanan pa...?" hanggang pangarap ka na lang ba pichay? bakit hindi ka gumising at bumangon at magbanat ng buto. mukha ka tuloy bulugan.

second is mike defensor. tama si nea. he has no lips. i think next to pichay he's the most desperate of them. hindi ko alam kung bakit, pero nakakainislang talaga yung pagmumukha niya. the most despicable about him is that when i learnd that hes the mastermind behind pp 1017 and other similar things. hes too desperate,really. sayang coz i tot that he has the potentials. dagdag pa ang paggamit nya kina keanna at pooh. boy, hindi na kita kakausapin.

isa pa yang yang si sarah geronimo este si Angara. gusto ko pa naman xa, teka si sarah g. ung gusto ko ha hindi so angara. my "ang gara ng buhay" pa xang nalalaman. tapos ginamit nya pa si sarah geronimo. saw him sa late nite news program ng abs, un parang forum.maayos naman sumagot pero sa pagkaintindi ko pabor xa sa pag amyenda sa probisyon ng saligang batas na nauukul sa liberalization ng ating ekonomiya. bad cheetah!

dabarkads mo ba si tito Sotto..?oo ung may komersyal ng taxi na may pamilyang sumakay na nakiusap sa driver na i lock ung pinto. tapos sabi na lang bigla, "buti na lang may tito" waaaah.walng konek. d ko gets ung point, kung meron man. mas mukha pa ngang political ad un ad ni bossing para sa isang food suplement. com'on.

tama, edukasyon ang kailangan. pero iboboto mo ba ung magaling sumayaw noong impeachment? oo, si Oreta. in fairness mukhang aktibo xa sa physical education nung kabataan nya. tpos may ginamit pa xang bata sa ad nya. kmusta naman, mukha ngang mas malusog pa sa akin yun. tpos mukhang bagong botox ung mukha nya( nui oreta, hindi nung bata.)un lang.

**to be continued...

*** I really enjoyed the spoof episode of aalog alog . it was like a compilation of the most pathetic political ads of pulitikos. ibig sabihin, kapansin pansin lang talaga ang garapalang pangangampanya kaya kahit sa ganoong shows ay tinitira sila. panalo!

2006-10-25T08:55:00.000-07:00

Sham Erudition
Jerick Medrano

On The Ambiguity-Conflict Model

I. Woodrowrella
(Had a hard time pronouncing it, huh?)

Once upon a time, there was this man named Woodrow Wilson whom in his essay called “The Study of Administration” argued that implementation and execution, rather than the broad plans of government action is administration. Thus, making administration a separate entity from politics. And from then on, political science students will never be able to live happily ever after!

a poem badly written
Yes it’s a poem and it’s inspired by Robert Frost’s The Road Not Taken. Just consider the title because I forgot its contents already.

So, is it my problem
that Wilson wanted them separate?
What if I want them combined?
Would there still be
a discipline called public administration?
I wonder if no one ever came out with that very ambiguous concept.
What if Wilson was not born?
Or what if I were Wilson?
Will people also write stupid fairy talesque tales about me
just like what I did?
Of course I’m not Wilson coz I’m jerick.
Lover of hypotheticals and what if’s.

II. Woodrowrella II: attack of the implementation scholars

Since then, the world was never a wonderful and peaceful place for political science students. (Media Player: But I could have told you Vincent. This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you---Vincent, Don Mclean)(see, even Don Mclean reckons our world is not the appropriate one) Two schools of thought have evolved and developed in analyzing the process of implementation. One is the Top down model wherein policy designers are considered the central actors and concentrate their attention on factors that can be manipulated at the central level. On the other hand, the bottom up model emphasized target groups and service deliverers and argued that policy really is made at the local level, that is by so-called street level administrators. In addition the bottom-up model has two level of implementations namely Macro and micro implementation. The former involves central actors while the latter involves local organization's response to the actions of central actors. Perhaps, it is also important to take note that there are already attempts from other scholars to combine the two models hoping to provide better results.

And the saga continues….
III. Policy Ambiguity

Policy ambiguity in implementation basically stems from ambiguous goals and the ambiguous means of achieving them. Four perspectives in determining the implementation process have been identified and they are as follows:

1. Low policy ambiguity low policy conflict. It means that it is clear who are actors that are supposed to implement a certain program. Here, expertise of actors is required and normative mechanism my apply due the low levels of conflict because of legitimacy that gives an implanting body its authority. Outcomes pf policie sare determined by resources”

2. Low policy ambiguity and high policy conflict. The central principle of this kind of implementation is that the “implementation outcomes are decided by power”
Coercive and/or remunerative mechanisms are required.

3. High policy ambiguity and low policy conflict. Contextual conditions are dominant in this kind of implementation. These conditions mainly are the basis for the assessment of outcomes of the policy. Following that premise, implementation becomes a case to case basis. Here, Means and goals are not clear. It can also be the case where there is a clear goal but there are no definite means to carry it out.

4. High policy ambiguity and high policy conflict. In this set up local level coalition strength determines the outcome of a program. Policies of this type are deliberately made ambiguous to eliminate conflict.

IV. Semi Charmed Life

Honestly, it never occurred to me that those models in analyzing implementation exist. The problem with omniscient people (like me..hahaha) tend to delve into realms too obvious that do not really need analysis. I mean, they (or shall I say, we) enjoy theorizing ostensible peculiarities which appear to them(us) to be pressing issues. It doesn’t make sense. Doesn’t it? I know. See? I know everything.hahahaha!

What I’m trying to say is that there are certain things in life that occur for no extraordinary reasons at all. More often than not, everything just comes out naturally. It reminded me of a short story back in elementary. It is a story about Mr. Ripe and Mr. Raw. Mr. Raw is the kind of guy who tries to explain things in technical terms. Mr. Ripe, on the other hand almost didn’t even give a damn to explain things. His only reply was “it’s only natural.” End of story. (Can’t those implementation scholars be like Mr. Ripe?)

Going back to the two models, the top down and bottom up, indeed there are differences between their underlying premises. Both have points and the fact that they live up to this day but I still hate them. The two models view the same implementation process from different perspectives and both are blind to some important elements in policy implementation. (Hail to those people who wanted to reconcile the differences of the two. However, I have this attitude of stereotyping those people as mediocres and always play safe by not making a stand. The least I want is a clear stance. It’s either black or white and no gray areas please!)

A pyramid (thanks to Sir Doti) best illustrates the concept of the two. As we go toward the top of the pyramid, the smaller the area becomes. The lesser the area the less actors it can accommodate. On the contrary, the base of the pyramid has far greater area than that of the top such that it can accommodate more actors than the top. Rationally, the problem with too many actors is that it is very difficult to reach a consensus. The top, on the other hand has lesser variables and further converges so that a single entity is left. This time the problem will arise if this single entity becomes very authoritative that it deliberately ignores the base. These now results to conflict that if not addressed might cause the pyramid to crumble.

I’ve learned from PS 153 class that policies are purposely vaguely structured to facilitate conflicts that may arise in the future. Aside from it, as far as I remember, according to the late Claro M. Recto it is to prevent a “kamay na bakal” feeling of any laws and policies that may be promulgated in the future. At first I thought it was a very stupid idea that leads to the arbitrariness of the application of law, and it’s the same arbitrariness that I truly abhor. Only to realize that it’s better to leave it that way than to have laws clearly dictating which are doable and which are not.

Better vague than never
(yes, i'm referring to my blog and not to any policies drafted)

Instead of having a full grasp of the mind boggling concepts of the ambiguities of public administration, I only realize that in the quest for knowledge is never an easy task. I thought of giving up, but then again, it’s my last chance to take PS 150 so I can graduate.
Damn! How I wish that Wilson never set his feet on earth nor breath in oxygen and breath out carbon dioxide. I think he is a mutant and I’m not. Are you?

2006-10-23T22:13:00.000-07:00

Hello